thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
