it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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