wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
