That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
