I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
