Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
