One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
