"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
