As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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