I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
cat food counts as protein by the way
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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