Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
