Where is the hickey?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
