I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As shirtless as possible
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
