i think my mom watched the whole time
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
