i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
