I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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