Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
