do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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