this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
