Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
