Can Purell be used as lube?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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