just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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