that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
