Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
