So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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