names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
