I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i drank out of a bidet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
