is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
