I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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