I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
