i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
