You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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