I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
vagina is talking i cant
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
