No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
