Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
