This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
