Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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