dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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