That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
