I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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