I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
