TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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