the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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