i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
