I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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