i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
