can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
