so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This house was built for laser tag.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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