everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
