You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
